Killing My Love
by Tsubasa Hane
Summary: I owe you so much. More than you’ll probably ever know. Kami-sama, Cagalli, do you have any idea how scared I was at the thought of losing you? We made a promise to one another that day we’d protect one another. You kept your word. Let me keep mine.


The idea came to me one afternoon during a visit to the oral surgeon. Though no longer phobic, I am not a big fan of hospitals, and actually started shaking a little at the thought that I will have to go in for surgery of any kind (as there is no way I won't). Somehow, I began relating my situation to what it would be like if Cagalli was in a similar position…and then, I thought what if it were actually much more **severe**.

An unusual amount of research went into this story, something I blame on the several papers I had to write for classes last semester, so be proud of me. I actually used my brain, and not just my imagination. .

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**Killing My Love**

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It was still relatively early in the morning when Athrun Zala—now going by the name of Alex Dino—had his attention drawn by the sounds of an exasperated Myrna two doors down from his bedroom. A quarter past 8 o'clock, to be precise, if the blinking red numbers beside his bed were accurate. The former ZAFT soldier had already been conscious for the last hour out of habit, and fortunately was already awake and dressed for the day, sporting a casual green turtleneck and grey pants when he appeared in the hallway.

"Zala-san! Thank the stars!" the aging woman exclaimed. A long-time employee of the Attha family, she was one of the trusted few who knew of his true identity. "Kami-sama help me, I love her dearly, but this girl will be the death of me yet. Ten minutes, I've been calling, without so much as a moan of acknowledgement!"

It took much self-discipline on Athrun's part not to smile at the maid's plight. Cagalli was known throughout the household as being somewhat less than cheerful in the morning. Especially when those mornings started before noon. Several of the staff had come to rely on his personal services to drag the princess out of bed on days when she need to be in conference or meet with head representatives.

The master key was already in hand, though he decided to give her one last chance before using it. "Cagalli?" He called out to her, knocking twice, as Myrna stepped aside. "It's me. Open the door."

Silence.

"Cagalli?"

After nearly half a minute passed without reward, Athrun became well aware of the prying eyes on either side aimed in his general direction. Such spectacles were not uncommon, and so he chose to ignore them for the time being. Within seconds, he had unlocked the door and slipped inside, leaving it slightly ajar behind him.

Expecting a slumbering princess buried beneath a layer of quilt and bed sheets, Athrun was quite surprised to find that, not only was Cagalli very clearly awake, but that the quit and bed sheets had been exiled to the other end of the bed in a crumpled heap. Her head was bent over so that her messy blonde locks covered most of her face, and she was clutching her stomach in pain, sitting in almost a fetal position.

_Stomach virus_, his mind thought instantly.

Calmly, the blue-haired coordinator made his way across the room to her side. "Why didn't you tell Myrna you weren't feeling well this morning? I'll have her call Kisaka and—"

"It hurts, Athrun…" Cagalli's voice interrupted him mid-sentence, small and filled with pain. "So much. I…cold…"

A small frown appeared on his face, and he leaned forward to try and brush some of the hair from her face. His eyes widened as he realized that not only was her forehead extremely warm, but she was shivering almost violently in a cold sweat. Sitting down for a better observation, he quickly discovered that her breath was coming in quick, short gasps. Instantly, he grabbed the discarded blankets and wrapped them around the girl's shoulders.

"Go call the doctor," he called back to Myrna. "I think something's wrong with Cagalli."

The maid nodded and disappeared from the room in search of the nearest telephone.

Less than twenty minutes later, one of the local physicians arrived. During that time, Athrun refused to leave Cagalli's side for a single moment, gently holding her and stroking her hair, whispering soft words of encouragement in feeble attempts to take her mind off the pain. It did little in that area, though Cagalli could not have been more thankful for his mere presence. She clutched tightly to his shift when moments of sharp pain shot through her lower abdomen, leaving her body near rigid, and had soon leaned her forehead against his strong chest for warmth and support.

That was the position the physician found them in the moment she walked into the room, before politely requesting Athrun to step back so she could give a proper physical examination. Normally, he would have been asked to leave the room, but given his professional role and Cagalli's insistence, she decided to make an exception.

Minutes passed in silence, save for brief exchanges of dialogue between doctor and patient. The physician gently pressed against several points of Cagalli's upper and lower abdomen while requesting verbal responses, checking for tenderness and possible fluid buildup. She also measured temperature, pulse rate, and blood pressure.

Halfway through the examination, Athrun briefly excused himself to make a few phone calls. The princess had been scheduled for several minor appointments throughout the day that had to be canceled. He only wished that Kira and Lacus were in Orb so he could get in touch with them, but the couple had taken up residence in an orphanage on one of Earth's quiet, remote beaches.

The physician was just packing up her equipment when he returned, asking to speak with him privately in the hallway.

"What's the diagnosis?" Athrun asked as soon as they were outside.

"I'm afraid it's hard to say at this point. Attha-sama will need to be taken to the hospital immediately for some tests before we can do anything else."

His lips pressed tightly together, having half-expected the answer already. "I see. You do realize that Caga—Attha-san and I would both prefer to remain as discreet as possible. If nothing else, but to maintain privacy away from the reporters and tabloids."

"That's perfectly understandable, Dino-san." The physician nodded in understanding, giving a respectful bow. "I'll contact my office at once to arrange for a private transportation to the nearest hospital."

**o*0*o**

"She has _what_!"

"I'm afraid that's the official diagnosis, Dino-san," the elderly man stated. In his late fifties, his hair was streaked with gray, and the lines across his face due to years of such a strenuous profession betrayed his age. Though understanding the boy's worry whole-heartedly, he did his absolute best to remain professional under the circumstances. "It's commonly known as_secondary peritonitis_…though 'commonly' is a relative term. To be perfectly honest, the condition is so rare nowadays, you were fortunate to arrive at a hospital that still contains records on it. Had this occurred at a time when Attha-sama was away at PLANT…well…"

The thought of what the doctor was suggesting made Athrun's blood run cold. He shuddered involuntarily before willing his mind to suppress the idea, instead querying further on the girl's condition.

"You're a Coordinator, correct?"

"Yes, but what does that have to do with Cagalli?" If the doctor noticed his informal manner of addressing the Orb princess, he made not indication of it.

"Nothing directly. It was more of a question as to how I should explain this to you. You see," he began, "Coordinators do not possess this particular appendage, though Naturals do. It's called an appendix, and is attached to the lower right side of the large intestine. It is a dormant organ, and any human could easily live without it. However, there are times when the appendix may become enflamed, or even infected. This is a condition known as _appendicitis_. Generally non-threatening, and can easily be treated with minor surgical removal."

Athrun nodded in understanding, urging the doctor to continue.

"However, there are rare cases when the appendix becomes so enflamed that it bursts, flooding the peritoneum with harmful bacteria and enzymes. In these instances, I'm afraid the surgery will be anything but minor."

Desperately trying to control the emotions welling up inside, Athrun summed up enough courage to ask the question most pressing in his mind: "Will she be okay?"

"There has been a recorded ten to forty percent mortality rate, depending upon the circumstances," the doctor admitted. "However, given Attha-sama's impressive health record, and the fact that she'll be treated within forty-eight hours of the eruption…I'd say she stands a very high chance of coming out of this ordeal just fine."

He let out the breath he hadn't realize he was holding until that moment, and was about to thank the doctor when he continued on.

"To be perfectly honest, I'm rather shocked as to how someone like Attha-sama could possibly have been forced to suffer like this. She must have gone weeks in pain without a word. Poor girl…must've mistaken it for the flu all this time. The symptoms generally are quite similar."

There was a pregnant pause between the two, in which the doctor noticed a drastic change in Athrun's expression, until: "May I see her?"

"I gave her some morphine for the pain, until we can bring her into the operating room, but I don't see why not. Times like these, it's usually better to have a familiar face around, y'know?" With a warm smile, the doctor left the waiting area, leaving a nurse with instructions to lead Athrun to the proper room.

**o*0*o**

"Mmm…Alex?" Cagalli called out in the dim lighting as she heard someone enter the room, only half-awake. Through blurred vision, she was just barely able to make out a solitary figure with soft, blue hair. "Athrun?" she tried again, using his real name.

Athrun didn't respond to her calls. He didn't move. In the soft lighting, Cagalli couldn't tell if he was even still awake or aware of her presence. Her bed was already inclined for some comfort, though she moved in an attempt to sit up further…

"Stay down."

"…A-athrun?" the cold, harsh tone in his voice was what surprised her the most, so much that her mind barely registered the command. It was only through sheer confusion that she obeyed at all.

As he moved closer, she almost gasped at the look on his face. A mixture of sadness and anger replaced his usually composed features, and even the morphine coursing through her veins couldn't hide the glazed look in his eyes. She sank back a little deeper into the hospital bed under his intense stare.

"I spoke with the doctor. He told me something very interesting, Cagalli." The coordinator's voice had taken an eerily monotone to it. "Apparently, those sharp pains you've been experiencing in your stomach the past few weeks and not telling me about were signs that your appendix was about to burst. And last night, that's just what it did."

"I…" she was at a loss for words.

"Kami-sama, Cagalli, how could you have been so _stupid_!" He all but shouted at her, throwing his hands up in a very uncharacteristic fashion for him. "You should have at least said something. What if this had happened someplace that wasn't equipped to deal with peritonitis? What if you collapsed right in the middle of an important senate meeting, huh? Do you ever even _think_ of the consequences to your actions sometimes? Do you!"

At that point, Athrun really was screaming. It wouldn't have surprised him in the least if someone had come barging in at that precise moment with security guards to escort him out of the building.

Blinking back tears he hadn't realized were forming, Athrun suddenly realized that Cagalli was once more shivering, only this time not from chills. She refused to look him in the eye, turning her head away. It was then he heard the muffled sobs amidst the otherwise deafening silence between them.

The last time he'd seen her cry, she'd believed her long-lost twin brother to have died from the explosion of Genesis. He had cried too, for a childhood friend he loved like a brother, and they'd found comfort in one another. But this time, he was the cause of her tears.

Wordlessly, he moved to the side of her bed, seating himself in a position where he could face her directly. One hand gently reached out to tilt her chin towards him, while the other wiped the tears from her eyes. He had to be careful not to disturb the I.V. in her arm, or the breathing tube beneath her nose. But for a single moment, Athrun saw nothing of their hospital-related surroundings…only the girl before him he'd somehow come to love.

"Hey," he said, his voice much softer than before. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. I just…" he trailed off. "Cagalli, you have to understand. I know you played as large a role as anyone on the battlefield, fought right alongside myself and Kira. I know you're strong and independent and think you can do it all without any help. And I'm sure you seldom need help. But you hold a responsibility to your country and your people to take care of yourself too."

"I-I know," she hiccupped lightly. "I should have paid more attention to the warning signs my body was giving me. I guess…I was afraid of showing weakness."

"You're hardly weak," he insisted. "In fact, I don't think I've ever met a stronger person in my life. A life that you saved."

"Well, I couldn't very well let you go and blow yourself up, could I? Not when you're still needed…"

The hidden intention behind her words didn't go unnoticed. Reaching down, Athrun's hands clasped her tightly and brought them to his lips for a gentle kiss. The princess blushed lightly, though the faint smile never wavered.

"I owe you so much. More than you'll probably ever know. Kami-sama, Cagalli, do you have any idea how scared I was at the thought of losing you? We made a promise to one another that day we'd protect one another. You kept your word. Let me keep mine." He gave her hands a gentle squeeze. "I need you to trust me."

"I do trust you," she murmured, eyelids fluttering slightly as sleep threatened to claim her.

"Then prove it," he leaned in close, whispering softly in her ear. "I want you to make me a promise, Cagalli. Promise me that you'll never let anything like this happen again. That you'll confide in me, let me be there for you."

As the morphine in her system finally began to take their toll, the blonde princess of Orb drifted off into a dreamless sleep, safe in the care of her beloved bodyguard, with two simple words on her lips:

"I promise."

* * *

_They give us just one life to live_  
_Baby, love and love and love me_  
_Love is what is worthing_  
_The most important thing to give._

-Leslie Parrish_, Killing My Love_


End file.
